I trust you're all doing well (If not, then at least ok)? Anyone needs talk, just drop me a line and I'll get back to you as fast as possible!!
So, as you llamas know, I've been back at college. Its driving me nuts. They keep changing the timetable, and if we aren't having a change of times, its a change of rooms. As a consequence, most of us are late to EVERY SINGLE LESSON. This is seriously annoying because bad punctuality is one of the reasons we could get kicked out. So. Thanks. THE MAN IS DRAGGING US DOWN. I dunno. Its possible. AND. We haven't really been set any work yet so we're all bored out of our minds, however, it has given me time to think about some things;
1) There's some drama going on between one of my friends and her friend who is also sort of my friend and we're all in the same class and I'm not going to name names but now I'm caught in the middle when I was trying not to be and I have another friend who doesn't really know what's going on (neither do I, to be honest) and they're ready to give up on the friends and I am so confused and its giving all of us headaches. So, yeah. Take a deep breath llamas - I had to.
2) CONFIDENCE. I can really struggle with this. And I know I'm not the only one out there. But here's a little story that may or may not help. My confidence isn't the worst in the world and its not the best, so this was a big deal for me.
You know when you scroll through Facebook and you get the random suggested pages? Or someone puts up a photo that's professionally done? And it prompts your curiosity to have a quick look and maybe, just maybe, have the courage to book something? Well, that's basically what happened. I'd come across this photoshoot thing - invite only - that you have to apply for with a photo. I'm one of those people that has to have the right lighting, the right make up and pretty much the right photographer to actually look good in photos. So, anyway, my friend (Darshana) had taken this awesome selfie with me, and I decided to send it in.
Imagine my surprise when I get a call from a random lady asking if I was the one with the blue hair.
I'd decided I was going to do the free track and had gone for a photoshoot (yesterday). I thought the worst that could happen was that I'd look awful and modelling wasn't for me, BUT, I really enjoyed myself and it really made me feel beautiful. I had hair and make up done, I had changes of clothes and the photographer was getting me a little out of my comfort zone in the aspect of poses. I was having fun. And I came out of it feeling confident in my body for the first time in a long time.
And this confidence carried on as I found that I had the potential to model if I could get signed with an agency. So that's what I'm doing now. I have a portfolio!!! And I could be a model!!!!
In other news, I've been having some deep, meaningful chats with a few of my friends lately and I'm grateful that they feel like I can listen and give advice etc. but it really makes you think. My brain HURTS. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I will never turn them away if they need my help or need to talk, but wow I didn't realise what a strain on my mind it had.
Anyway, that's all from me.
Shenaya xx
P.S. Shoutout to Shoyab for telling me that I could pose and that I could be a model (LUSM <3)
Here are some of my favourite photos. By the way, THESE ARE COPYRIGHTED.
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