Middle Age

Hola, llamas!!

So, considering I'm not anywhere near what you would term as "middle aged", what the fuck am I talking about, right?  Well, you see, mum is turning the big Five-O *cue Hawaii Five-O theme tune* (she's awesome like that) in a few days and she might not say it, but it's making her feel old.  That and I insist on making a big fuss about it and she hates being the centre of attention - classic "I'll make a big deal of everyone else but don't you dare make me feel like I'm taking all the attention on MY birthday".  She's practical like that.  AND.  A friend said that he was too old to go to ComicCon with me.  He's like 30.  Dude, that's not old.  And ComicCon is basically a bunch of nerds and geeks who don't even care how old you are as long as you're awesome.

However, I'd like to say that NONE OF YOU ARE OLD.  It doesn't matter about the numbers.  It matters that you feel good about yourself.  You being you.  You could be a 12 year old going for bingo nights, or a 95 year old raving in the clubs.  I don't care.  If you don't think about the number that you get labelled with, you could be as young as you wanted to be.  Who gives a damn about societal restraints? (Okay, you might need to abide by some laws and well, some things are just inappropriate and wrong but you get my gist) Life is what you make it, so don't get yourself down by thinking that once you hit a certain age, you're all of a sudden "middle aged", or that it makes you on the last half to the rest of your life or whatever, because no matter how old you are, you could get knocked down by a bus, mugged in a dark alley or just keel over from bad sushi... So who knows, we're kinda all in a perpetual "middle-aged-mid-life-crisis-I'm-gonna-die" kinda state.

Anyway, I'm here to say that no matter how old or young we are, we're constantly going through mid-life crisis.  Yeah, yeah, that sounds stupid.  But have you ever actually thought about it?  We're constantly freaking out, or "going off the rails", maybe I'm understanding this wrong but isn't a mid-life crisis when you get so stressed that it pushes you to do something else, or, you no longer care what anyone else thinks?  Or am I just confused? (SEE, mid-life crisis, right over here *big, neon, flashing arrows*)  Do we not do what you see the classic "mid-life crisis dads" doing?  But instead of a shiny new, red convertible sports car, it's a new phone case or pretty bag or new shoes in the form of "I'm just treating myself"?  So really, is life not just one big mid-life crisis?

Now that I've given you some mad ramblings to mull over, I'd like to leave you with this quote; which just so happens to be one of both mine and mum's favourites..

Shenaya xx

P.S. I promise I wasn't high when I wrote this.  Well... that's a lie, because I'm high, HIGH ON LIFE *baddum tss* 

Hoorah for Hamazing Hairdressers!!

Hey, llamas!!

So, I realise 'hamazing' isn't a word but I was going for alliteration.  If you remember reading my cautionary tale, this is the ending(?) of that tale.  I think.  Well, it's more of an update.

I spent nine days with my hair in some form of a plait, whether it be pigtails or a slicked back power pony.  I barely brushed it, I DEFINITELY didn't wash it and I slathered it in coconut oil (it cures cancer too!! (not really - please don't try that)).  And finally, after all this time (always (Harry Potter reference anyone)), I finally got it cut.

BEFORE (THE Hair Disaster - as it shall now be known):

AFTER (THE Hair Disaster):

AFTER (THE haircut from an amazing hairdresser):

Emily (my hairdresser) is AAAHHHHMMAAAAAZZZZZIIIINNNNNGGGGG.  She rights all wrongs.  She is my saviour.  I also have a bit of hero worship going on because she manages to do all sorts of miracles on my hair.  She's been our hairdresser for the better part of six years and she gets us.  That sounds cringy.  It's not.  I promise.  BUT.  She does always know what looks good on us, what kind of style we like, and what colours we prefer in our hair.  Like I said, she's awesome.  Well, I said she was amazing.  You get it.

Anyway, that's all from me!!

Shenaya xx

P.S. Please ignore my face in the first "after THE Hair Disaster" picture.
P.P.S. My hair is not naturally curly - it's dead straight.  Straighter than Donald Trump. (Damn ASSHOLE (to be read as A-S-S not A-R-S-E))

Random Thought #4

Hola, llamas!!

SO.  It's been a while since I last wrote a Random Thought, and I guess I decided it was time for another one.

I was rereading my very first posts on this blog - waaaaayyyyy back in August 2015 - and I realised that my writing style had not only changed, but, I could've sworn my posts have gotten even more boring.  I mean, I didn't think that was possible.

Anyway, I guess this is me trying to get back to the writing style I used when I first started.  That odd, kinda sarcastic, idiot way.

When I first started blogging, I did it for me.  A place that I could just vent.  And I don't know if it's that place anymore.  I mean, when was the last time that I just wrote anything personal on here?  Because to me, it feels like I haven't in a really long time.  Maybe it's because I've changed as a person (I'd like to think I've grown (not physically - I'm still a 5'3" short ass)) or maybe my circumstances have made me more wary of saying anything personal in the case that it gets used against me.  Or maybe the things I want to vent about can't be written on here because they're about some of my readers.  I don't know.  All I know is that this blog has changed from what it was to what it is now.  And I don't know if that's a good thing.

The thing about these random thoughts is that often, they're not really thought out and they're half formed, and don't really make sense to anyone.  Which means you guys get a half thought out, abrupt post, and I kinda just confuse myself.  Honestly, I had no idea where I was going with this post - like I used to say; I let my fingers lead me.  But, if there's one thing I've figured out, it's that I was always - and still am - choosing my words extremely carefully.  I never wanted to be that controversial person or have something come back to bite me in the butt with a future employer.  I never wanted to offend anyone.  And I guess to a certain extent, that's still true.

A lot of my views about life can contradict each other hugely, and I guess sometimes, that makes me a hypocrite but I'm a firm believer in outcomes.  Yup, you read that right.  Outcomes.  Sometimes, I like to believe that the fates and whatever god(s) you believe in are the one's that choose what happens in life, and sometimes, I believe in the butterfly effect - a butterfly's single flap of their wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world.  They contradict each other.  One is blind faith, and one is science.  Two methods for explaining something that I don't really think can be explained.  A rivalry as old as time; religion vs science.

I guess what I'm trying to say is what changed the outcome of this blog?  Was it the fates and God deciding that by using this place as a safe place to blog, I'd unwittingly changed some part of my future outcome?  Or was it one person across the globe who did something as innocent as wake up late, causing a series of events to happen?  What made my writing style and the things I write about, change? What caused my blog to go from being somewhere I could vent to somewhere that I just update you on my life?  Quite frankly, I don't know.

See, I keep saying that this blog was somewhere for me to vent, but I also wanted to make it this little ray of sunshine in a world that is getting increasingly dark, and I don't really think that I accomplished that either.  I mean, when was the last time I made you guys smile?  Or laugh out loud?

This post probably won't make you laugh, or probably won't even make you smile.  And if it does, you have a weird sense of humour - and that's coming from a 19 year old girl with a tween boy's sense of humour...

Shenaya xx

P.S.  Here's a pic of Raffi on a recent walk.

Big Bleach Blunder

Hey there, llamas!!

So, long time, no see (read? hear? talk?).  I'm super sorry that I haven't been keeping you updated on the trials and tribulations of my oh so boring life, but, I've been super busy - assignments due, dogs to be occupied, jobs to be found, sleep to be had....

BUT.  I NOW HAVE A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR YOU.

Okay.  Most of you have figured out or know that I dye my hair.  That's not to say I don't like my natural hair colour, I love it, but, I find that dying my hair is another form of self expression and art.  So, I colour my hair the most outrageous colours that it'll take - for those of you who don't dye your hair, your hair will only take certain colours well - others will damage it or you'll need a stronger peroxide which could damage your hair.

And if you have dark hair, you have to lighten it to get brighter colours into it.  Well.  That's where my cautionary tale starts...

Imagine a girl.  Black hair (mostly) with fade blues and greens on badly (thanks for that you stupid salon) bleached hair, she's mixed asian/oriental, about 5'3" and either looks super confused or super anxious.  Now, imagine this girl buying a home bleach kit because she wanted to get rid of that faded blue/green and put in another colour, her mother painstakingly separating out her hair and putting the bleach in for her.  They follow all the instructions.  And the girl's hair starts to get burning hot with the reaction, but, neither the mother nor the girl had ever home bleached their hair and just thought that's what was supposed to happen.  So, when the minimum time had gone by, the girl raced up the stairs to wash off all the bleach in the shower, and to her surprise she had extremely pale hair....

She washed her hair and tugged her hands through it, only to discover that it had bleached so much that it was breaking and falling apart in her hands!!  So, the girl carefully finished washing it, and put a whole tube of rejuvenating conditioner into it with the help of her mother.  She then sat writing a blog with her poor hair wrapped in cling film and conditioner, trying not to cry about the hair she loved so much.

So, llamas.  If you're going to bleach your hair, either get someone who knows what they're doing to do it for you at home, or, get a QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL to do it.  Please.  I beg of you.  My poor hair begs you.  My heart begs you.

If you love your hair as much as I love mine, you might know the feeling of your heart breaking slightly.  Especially, if I can't strengthen my hair.  I'll have to chop it all off and its nearly down to my butt.

I'd love to hear any of your hair disasters because, ya know, misery loves company and all that shit.

Anyway, that's all from me.

Shenaya xx

P.S.  This was something that happened to my hair, I'm not saying boycott the product or don't do it.  I'm just saying please take precautions and be careful.

Happy Easter!!

Hey, llamas!!

So, let me start off my saying, HAPPY EASTER!!! Hope you get all the chocolate you want and understand the religious connotations behind this holiday.

How's everyone been? I've been feeling better than the last time you heard from me. Still kinda feeling like a poltergeist but feeling better. I guess I'm just feeling better in myself.

Anyway, it's FINALLY Easter holidays and I still have ridiculous amounts of work to do. We all do. It's stupid because it's not even our fault we have work, it's not like we haven't handed it in or done it, it's because the college's system messed up and failed so our work went missing. Like, jeez, thanks. So, because of this mishap, we now have to go in for 3 days of our holidays to redo the work. Is this fair? No. Is this the way the world works? Big fucking yup. Life really sucks sometimes.

On the plus side, we get Raffi back tomorrow. I missed him. A lot more than I thought I would.  Hopefully, he'll be better trained and we can control him....

So. Now for the big news. I JOINED A GYM. I know righ?! Me. Joining a gym. I actually enjoy it, and it's got me motivated - maybe because I'm paying for a membership and I WILL get use out of it, even if it kills me. Which it probably will.  I had no idea how unfit I was.  But, I mean, I hadn't done exercise in so long that I had to get new trainers because the ones I had were too small....

Okay, so, as always, life keeps getting in the way, and as much as I'd like to think that I could just blog for a living - it's not realistic and I have to get through this year and into uni.  So, you might not hear from me for a while and I'm sorry to say that because I truly enjoy writing on here BUT I will try my best to keep you all updated on my not-so-exciting life.

Anyway, thanks for reading!! And if you want a particular topic written about - let me know!!

Shenaya xx

P.S. I do try to stay away from heavier topics but the bombings in Brussels are not far from my mind - don't think that I don't care.

Poltergeist

Hey, llamas!!

So, my last post was MANIC PANIC and I'm here to state that you shouldn't put too much of that Rockabilly Blue hair dye in, because it turned my hands, my pillow case and my towel blue for two weeks straight. That's not to say it isn't good and I'm loving the colour - even the washed out colour is awesome - just be careful about the amounts used....

Anyway, how are you? Like, are you well? How's your physical and mental state? Mine's odd - both mental and physical...

So, you guys probably know by now that I'm not the best person to ever advocate healthy living - I usually hold people that can do healthy living somewhere between jealousy/respect and absolute contempt. I'm always more likely to go for the unhealthy option than the healthy one. Keeping that in mind, I've got friends that are really into the whole healthy living lifestyle and one has started a blog so check it out here.

Okay, so what's up with the title of this post? Well.  I'm sorta feeling like I'm not really me anymore, just a ghost, tied to a place and not really being able to do anything, just haunt those around me. That sounds depressing. I didn't mean for it to be depressing. I just meant that I'm not really going anywhere or doing anything. Just work, work, work, work, work *cue Rihanna* - actually, I hate that song... Well, I like the beat but not much else, it tends to give me a headache. But, anyway, that's pretty much all that's going on with my life at the moment. Just working. I'm stuck at college - which EVERYONE, and I do mean everyone, is sick of. Oh, and my internet stopped working, I was ill, and now I'm behind on everything. AGAIN.

I was talking to Krupa today, and we started talking about how we would be when we FINALLY get to uni. We came to the conclusion that both of us would be better off. That's not to say that we're not being encouraged or that we're being put down or anything, but we just feel like we'd be happier as such. Almost like a weight would be lifted. Neither of us are staying at home, and we thought that we might be better off on our own. It's hard to put into words, but almost as if we'll be more motivated to live our OWN way and dare I say it - I think I would be healthier - once again, I don't think I can really explain it because so many people go to uni and aren't healthy or whatever - they're less motivated. I just can't explain it.  I think our mental health will be better once we get away from the college, if not home as there is the whole stigma that we are still high school students because we haven't got out of sixth form yet. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my family, and all my friends that are still at home, I WILL miss them. I just think that it's time for the next haunting place in my afterlife (see what I did there? Poltergeist - ghost - death. HA. DEAD. You know, because I was laughing so much...? I crack myself up - it's sad I know).

Mum and I did actually get matching TATTOOS, which I love because it just embodies us. My mum calls me BunnyBear because apparently, I once decided to find out what two different species of animals would have as a child. This was my most successful, I'm guessing. Anyway, the tattoos are a cartoon bear wearing a bunny tail and ears, and holding a balloon whisk - with a pissed off expression - OF COURSE. Mum's tattoo has more of the quintessential "mum look" that every mother seems to possess. You know, the one that kinda says "I'm not sure whether I raised an idiot, or I'm just sort of disappointed? Or maybe I'm just angry with you?". Here's the photo of both of ours - see if you can work out which one is which:

Oh, and I had my hate-fest for Valentine's Day - BLEUGH. Yeah, yeah, I'm 19 years old and shouldn't be this bitter... but I am... and I can't help it - it's like a reflex. So, I got through that scarring day.

Raffi is going to have to go on a residential trip for training because he doesn't listen to us anymore. It's gotten pretty bad. He's 8 months old and 26kg - three women, all with some sort of joint problem can no longer train him, so he's going on a holiday. For three weeks. To learn how to behave. Hopefully. It's a source of tension at the moment.

He's standing on me.

Anyway, that's all that's happened in the past month. Oh, and HAPPY PUNCH A RABBIT DAY!!!*

Shenaya xx

*That rhyme you say on the first of the month - "pinch, punch, the first day of the month" - well, to stop someone pinching and then punching you, you say "white rabbit", and imagine a 4 year old me, in Reception (Kindergarten) and the teacher asks what day it is, now every other child says the day or the date, and the confused, idiot that I am, shouts out "It's Punch A Rabbit Day!!". Needless to say, there was a meeting with my mum.

MANIC PANIC Review

Hola, llamas!!

I know I said I wouldn't be back for a while but I had a spare minute and felt like blogging.

So.  I'm doing a review on a hair dye that I've used very recently - and by 'recently', I mean that I've got it in my hair now.

What is this hair dye you ask?  Well, the brand is called Manic Panic and this link is the UK website.  I've currently got their Amplified Rockabilly Blue in my hair and I'm not just obsessed with the hair dyes.  I've been doing lots of research - you know how much I love my hair - and the whole business fascinates me.

Manic Panic was the first punk store to open in the WHOLE of the USA.  That's a big deal.  And the women who opened it were backups for Blondie in her original lineup.  So.  BOOM.  These guys are legit.

On to the product.  This hair colour is AMAZING.  It's currently on my paler blondey-green bits and the colour is so vivid and so bright - it's absolutely gorgeous.  I have found that if you want it on darker brown hair that you may need to leave it on longer than the recommended time (30 minutes).  I would suggest pre-lightening your hair to as blonde as possible - DON'T DAMAGE YOUR HAIR - and leaving it on longer than the recommended time.  The hair dye is as natural as possible and vegan and won't damage your hair if you leave it on for ages.  I left mine on overnight to get my colour.  Also, this product isn't tested on animals or whatever - it's tested on celebrities.  Rihanna.  Nicki Minaj.  Holly Hagan.  And many more.  So.  If you liked any of their hair colours, I'd say check out this range - they may have it.

This hair dye is relatively cheap but awesome quality and the Amplified range will last about 6-8 weeks and the normal range will last 4-6 weeks (or so I'm told).  I bought two bottles of hair colour and to just colour my blondey-green bits, I used one bottle.  Check the weight/quantity of the hair dye because I would not want to be caught with only half a head of colour when I realise I've run out.  The Amplified range are 118ml per bottle.

Please, please read all the instructions and warnings and don't go half cocked into doing this.  I regularly colour my hair so wasn't overly worried but you never know if you'll have an allergic reaction or if their will be a problem with applying it or whatever.  Do not follow just my instructions.  Follow the professionals advice.

Here's a picture of my hair:

Shenaya xx